Kara vs The Bat (or, Lucy the Matchmaker)
by Laura Roslin
Summary: Lucy is tired of watching Alex and Kara pine after each other and decides to Do Something About It. Step One is enlisting Agent Vasquez to help. Step Two, obviously, is letting Kara get bitten by a bat.


Kara had just taken the third bite of her sticky bun when her phone rang. "Umf," she muttered, holding the sticky bun awkwardly in her mouth as she fumbled in her purse with her non-sticky hand. She pulled her phone out and answered it, hastily swallowing the bite in her mouth. "Hello?"

"We need to meet."

"Lucy?" Kara pulled the phone back and looked at the screen. "Why are you calling me from an unknown number? And is that Vasquez there with you? Is everything alright? Is Alex okay?"

"Yeah, it's me, everything's fine. How'd you know about Vasquez?"

"I heard her breathing in the background," Kara said matter-of-factly, stepping off the sidewalk and leaning against a nearby railing as she swallowed the last bite of her sticky bun.

"Huh. Okay, anyway, we have a question for you. So how long would you say you've been in love with Alex?"

"Wha?" Kara choked, the first bite of her second sticky bun getting caught in her throat. She coughed several times before her throat was clear, waving off offers of help from multiple passers-by. Kara pressed the phone back to her ear. "Sorry Lucy, food overload. I thought I heard you ask me—"

"How long you'd been in love with Alex, yes."

"Pfft. Pssh. In love with—that's hilarious. You guys are hilarious. Thinking that me, and Alex, that she would, ha—"

"Kara," Lucy cut her off firmly. "It's okay. We know, and we want to help."

Kara sagged against the railing. "But what can you do?"

"We have an idea."

"It seems a little…elaborate," Kara said doubtfully, her right arm tucked across her body.

"Kara, do you trust us?" Lucy asked.

"Yeeeess?"

"And do you love Alex?"

"Yes." More definitive, this time.

"Good. Because what we have devised is a fool-proof plan to get her to admit her feelings for you, okay?"

"Okay." Kara blew out a deep breath, nodded sharply, and flew off.

"Ma'am?" Lucy cocked an eyebrow. "Lucy," Susan amended. "She may have a point, about the complexity of this plan."

"Susan," Lucy said, linking her arm through the other woman's and turning towards the truck. "How long have you know Alex?"

Susan stumbled, but quickly righted herself as she walked beside Lucy. "Two years."

"And how long has she been in love with Kara?

"Longer than that."

"Exactly." Lucy stopped beside the passenger door and laid her hand on the handle. "And in all that time, has she ever said anything to Kara or anyone else? This is Alex Danvers we're talking about here. There's not going to be some quick, wham bam declaration of love." Lucy opened the door and motioned Susan inside then pushed the door to. The shorter woman crossed her arms on the windowsill and leaned into the cab. "This is a sneak attack. We're playing a long con," she said with a wink.

Susan blinked, feeling slightly warm. "Okay, but can Kara pull this off? She's…not the best at deception."

"Oh, believe me, I'm aware. That's why we're playing to her strengths with this plan. It's got to be something so convoluted, so ridiculous, that Alex will never see it coming." Lucy shoved back from the window and smirked, walking around the front of the truck.

"Well, we've got the ridiculous part covered," Susan muttered to herself as she buckled in.

As Kara and Alex walked into the command center, Lucy stepped out from behind one of the consoles. "Supergirl, there's a three-car pile-up on I-59. Might need your assistance." She winked at Kara behind Alex's back.

Kara looked startled for a moment then nodded firmly, a determined set to her face, and leapt up, flying out of the deep recesses of the cave.

Lucy sighed dreamily as she stared up after Kara. Alex punched her in the arm. "Stop it."

"I can't," Lucy said, rubbing her arm. "There's just something about seeing her as Supergirl, all noble and heroic. Makes me feel all tingly inside."

"Gross," Alex replied, punching Lucy in her other arm.

"Temper, Danvers," Lucy taunted lightly as she stepped back. "People might start wondering why you're so overprotective."

Alex was saved from answering by a blue and red blur skidding to a stop between them.

"Guys," Kara said, holding up her hand, "a bat bit me."

Alex took Kara's hand between her own, turning it over. "Well, it didn't leave a mark. At least we know we're not infested with Kryptonite bats.

"Not funny. I could feel it's little bat teeth on me," Kara said with a shudder.

Lucy stepped closer and laid a comforting hand on Kara's bicep. "Hey, look at it like this. We're in the middle of the DEO, one of the most secure, technologically advanced places in the world. Maybe it was a genetically modified bat that bit you."

Kara's face brightened and she bounced on her toes. "Ooo, like Spider-Man! Maybe I'll get some cool bat powers!" Kara grinned down at Lucy.

Alex dropped Kara's hand and stepped back. "Well," she said a bit stiffly, "you can already see in the dark and fly, so…"

"Don't worry, Supergirl," Lucy said, slipping an arm around Kara's waist and pulling her into a side-hug. "I'm sure there's some other awesome, bat-related powers you could get. They might just take a while to appear. Or maybe," Lucy continued, glancing at Alex with a smirk, "it was a vampire bat."

"Yes!" Kara pumped her fist. "Super-vampire powers!"

Alex tucked a bag of food under one arm as she fumbled with her phone while unlocking Kara's door. "Hey Kar," she called as she pushed the door open, "they were out of the reuben so…" Alex paused, taking in the too-dark apartment. She dropped the food and her phone and brought her gun up to eye level, moving quickly through the kitchen and living room before sidling up to the bedroom door. Checking her gun, she nudged the door open and eased inside. The bed was empty. "Huh." Alex straightened, laying her gun down on the bedside table and turning on the lamp. She turned around and came face-to-face with an upside-down Kara. "Jesus Christ!" She stumbled back a step, hand on her chest. "Kara!"

Kara blinked slowly, her eyes focusing on Alex from the corner of the room where she hung from the ceiling, her cape wrapped around her body. Kara floated down, flipping in midair to land lightly on her boots. "Hi!" she said happily, wrapping her arms around Alex and pulling her into a hug. Kara ducked her chin and tucked her face into Alex's neck. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, snuggling further into her sister. "You smell good," Kara mumbled, moments later.

Alex pulled back. "I smell good?"

"Food!" Kara blurted, taking a step back towards the door. "You smell food. You brought us food, right? I'm gonna go get some right now."

Alex reached for Kara's arm. "Hey," she said, her fingers brushing the sleeves of Kara's suit. "What was that, huh?"

"Hmm? What was what? Is that the doorbell? Or maybe my phone. I should really go check them both—"

"Kara," Alex gently cut her off. "The floating upside down thing. What was that? Were you asleep?"

Kara's right hand rose to her face, but in the absence of glasses, settled on her neck and tapped nervously against her pulse. "Well, yeah, I was tired and, you know, like, bats sleep upside down, and I'm a flying creature too, so I thought hey, that might be cool, so…" she shrugged, looking down at the suddenly fascinating bedroom carpet.

"So you thought you'd give it a try? Give your old sister a heart attack?"

"Yeah!" Kara said, relieved, as she looked up at Alex. "Not that you're old! Or that I wanted to give you a heart attack."

"I know," Alex said fondly. She reached out and squeezed Kara's arm. "C'mon, let's go get you some food. You get all rambly when you're hungry."

"Okay," Kara agreed. She turned towards the door, then, biting her lip, spun back to face Alex. "Do you wanna try it?"

"Try what?" Kara made some loopy gestures with her hand and pointed at the ceiling, which Alex took to mean, "Sleeping upside down?" Kara nodded vigorously, a big smile on her face. Alex fought back a grin of her own. "We'll see."

"Uh-huh," Lucy said slowly, glancing sideways at Susan. Susan gave a miniscule quirk of her eyebrow. "So you hung upside down and pretended to be asleep when Alex came over."

"Well, I started out pretending, but then I actually fell asleep," Kara admitted sheepishly.

"That's okay. I think we may have just…underestimated your dedication to your craft," Lucy acknowledged with a wry smile. "So maybe you just tone things down a little, go a little lighter and quirkier."

"Yep, quirkier, got it. I can do that," Kara said determinedly. She stepped forward and wrapped the other two women in a hug. Susan made a surprised noise in the back of her throat as her feet were lifted off the ground. Kara set them down gently but kept a hand on each one's shoulder. "Thank you so much for helping me with this," she said sincerely. "Even if it doesn't work out, I want you to know that it's not your fault, and I really appreciate everything you're doing for me." Kara squeezed their shoulders then tilted her head. "I've got to go." She flexed her knees and shot off into the sky.

"So your sister's really taken with this whole bat thing," Lucy said casually as she dropped down on the stool beside Alex.

Alex pushed away from the microscope, twisting towards Lucy and rubbing her eyes. "Oh, I'm aware. She sang 'Bat's in the Cradle' ALL NIGHT last night. After the fifth time through I was ready to punch her, but I really didn't want to explain to J'onn why I needed regen meds again."

Lucy nodded out the window, where Kara was swooping up to J'onn, cape held dramatically across the lower half of her face. J'onn stared stone-faced at the caped hero until Kara wilted a bit and let her arm droop. "I think he would've understood," Lucy said with a grin.

The air in the lab shivered, and then Kara was standing in front of Alex, arm and cape raised to cover her nose and mouth again. "Alex, I vant to drink your blood," she growled.

Alex sighed dramatically but let the corner of her mouth quirk up as she looked past Kara at Lucy. "This is my life right now."

"You love it," Kara scoffed, dropping her cape and twirling around. "Hey Lucy!"

"Hi Kara," Lucy said warmly, stepping forward and laying an arm on Kara's bicep. Alex's left eye twitched. "You're looking very heroic today," she continued, her hand sliding down Kara's arm to her wrist. "And your Lugosi was on point," Lucy said with a dazzling smile. Alex glared at her.

"Thanks Luce!" Kara chirped, bouncing on her toes and floating just a little off the floor.

"Yeah, thanks, Lucy," Alex said dryly as she stood and took off her lab coat, draping it over the back of her chair.

"Happy to help," Lucy smirked in reply.

Alex rolled her eyes and turned to put her equipment away. Suddenly a warm body was pressed against her back and an arm wrapped around her waist. "Sookie," Kara whispered in her ear.

"Oh my god, no!" Alex laughed, turning in the embrace and pushing Kara away.

Kara smiled brightly as she stepped back towards Alex. "Sookie," she drawled slowly.

"Stop, I can't even look at you when you talk like that!" Alex, still laughing, turned her head away and covered her hands with her eyes.

"Ah cain't help myself." Kara's voice was closer, but Alex refused to look at her. "Ah fear ah cannot resist yourn sweet blood."

A hand landed on Alex's waist and a mouth settled on her neck, a faint impression of teeth on her skin before Alex jerked away, a jolt shivering through her stomach. "Kara, what the hell?" she asked angrily. Kara stumbled back, her eyes wide. Alex turned and gripped the edge of the table, closing her eyes. What was wrong with her? There was no need to get angry, Kara had just been playing around. Alex took a deep breath. Then another. Okay, calm now. "I'm sorry, Kar," she said, turning back around to face the other two women. "You just startled me is all. You can't go around biting people."

"You can bite my neck anytime, Kara," Lucy offered with a smirk.

Alex's body flushed with heat. Nope, anger was definitely back. "Kara," she said through gritted teeth. "Give us the room."

Kara's eyes grew even wider, if that was possible. "What—"

"Kara, now!" Alex dimly felt bad for snapping at Kara. Judging by the lip wobble, she'd have some making up to do later, but that was a passing worry when most of her attention was taken up by the anger roaring through her body. "What was that, Lane?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Danvers." Lucy put her hands on her hips.

Alex squeezed her trembling hands into fists at her side. "I'm talking about you, and all your flirting with Kara. You need to stop."

"What, can't handle a little competition?" Lucy sassed back.

"Compe—this isn't a game," Alex said angrily.

"You're right, this isn't a game." Lucy took a step forward, eyes fierce. "Kara is amazing. She's sweet and kind and she sees the best in people. She makes us all better."

"You think I don't realize that?" Alex crossed her arms over her chest.

"No, I think you don't realize that while Kara makes all of us better, you're the one that does that for her." Lucy took another step forward and laid a hand on Alex's elbow. "I think you've convinced yourself that Kara's better off without you."

Alex swayed like she'd been gut-punched. The heat rushed out of her body, leaving her feeling cold and small. She shook her head. "It's true. I'm not good enough for her."

Lucy squeezed Alex's arm. "Yeah, and she's not good enough for you either. But the two of you are perfect for each other."

"Later, Vasquez."

"See you, Collins." Susan lifted her hand in a half-wave then continued down the corridor. She was actually leaving work semi-on-time today, and there was some leftover pizza in her fridge that was calling her name. She was just debating the merits of eating it right out of the box or heating it up when a hand snaked out of what appeared to be an empty doorway and pulled her into the opening of a supply closet. "What—"

"Shh!" A finger was placed on Susan's lips, and she relaxed marginally once she identified her assailant as Major Lane. Lucy, her mind corrected. Lucy, who was pressed up tightly against her and smelled like gun oil and tea, which, apparently, Susan's brain had decided she had a thing for. Good Lord. She was vaguely aware that Lucy's lips had been moving the entire time, but it wasn't until the shorter woman was looking up at her with gleaming eyes and quirked lips that Susan felt adequately able to respond. "Huh?" Awesome. Eloquent as always.

Lucy grinned at her and nodded with her chin towards the labs down the hall. "I left Alex to stew in her own juices. I give her five more minutes, tops, before she puts on her big girl panties and goes to find Kara." Her eyes glowed in the semi-darkness. One hand was still wrapped around Susan's bicep, and the other brushed tantalizingly close to her hip as they stood pressed together in the small doorway. Susan stared up at the ceiling, wondering if she should pray for Alex to hurry up, or to take her time. She glanced back down to find Lucy looking at her, bottom lip tucked behind her teeth. Susan took a deep breath.

"There she goes," Lucy whispered, tightening her grip and dragging Susan back out into the main corridor. "C'mon."

Susan took two quick steps and fell in beside Lucy, who was still gripping her arm, but not as tightly as she had been. They stayed several yards behind Alex and followed her to the break room. Alex paused in front of the door, took a deep breath, and pushed inside. Lucy pulled Susan past the door and up to the edge of the window that looked into the room. Kara, still in her Supergirl suit was sitting on the far end of one of the tables, head bowed. Alex walked up to her and knelt, hand reaching out to touch Kara's knee. She said something, but she was turned away enough that Susan couldn't read her lips.

"Can you read their lips?"

Lucy's breath was warm on Susan's neck. She mentally high-fived herself for not jumping away from the smaller woman. Susan shook her head. "Too far away," she whispered.

"Darn. I'm sure it's something like—Kara," Lucy put on a husky, deeper-than-normal voice. "I'm sorry I was such a dummy back there. The truth is I'm in love with you. I have been for years. You are my sun and moon and stars."

"Oh Alex," Lucy continued in a higher-pitched voice, "I love you too, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love you more than potstickers!"

"Oh Kara, you say the sweetest things. The truth is, I just wanna make out with your face all night long and—oh my god! She just kissed her!"

"I can see," Susan said dryly as she stepped back from the suddenly flailing arms that had attacked her torso.

Lucy sighed dreamily, laying her head on Susan's shoulder as they watched Kara and Alex slowly float off the ground, arms still wrapped around one another. "God, they're disgusting."

Susan swallowed. Hard. "Completely," she agreed.

Lucy looked up at her through her long, long eyelashes. "Susan." She drew her name out. "Are you doing anything tonight?"

Susan thought fleetingly of cold pizza and late night tv. She shook her head. "Not really."

"Then we're going out to celebrate. My treat."

Susan squared her shoulders and barely resisted the urge to lock her hands behind her back. Time to woman up. "There's a new Thai place that's opened up right by my apartment," she offered as they turned away from the break room and headed back in the direction they'd come from.

Lucy's eyes twinkled and her smile was soft as she looped her arm through Susan's. "Sounds perfect."

Kara sat on the couch, curled into Alex, a pillow clutched to her chest as the end credits rolled on a movie she hadn't paid much attention to at all.

"It's getting late," Alex said quietly. She made no effort to move though, and continued gently sifting her fingers through Kara's hair.

Kara squirmed a bit, settling her head on Alex's shoulder. "You could spend the night," she suggested. The fingers in her hair stilled. She looked quizzically up at a smirking Alex. "Not like that!" Kara sat up, her body growing warm. "You know what I meant," she said, throwing her pillow and hitting Alex square in the face.

Kara had a brief moment of satisfaction witnessing the look of surprise on Alex's face, then the next instant the brunette had launched herself through the air and slammed into Kara, laying her out flat on the couch cushions. They grappled for a few minutes, Kara controlling her strength, content to let Alex keep the upper hand. "You're so beautiful," Kara murmured as she gazed up into Alex's eyes.

Alex blushed and tucked her head under Kara's chin. "You're ridiculous," she mumbled into Kara's shirt.

Kara wrapped her arms firmly around Alex's back and slowly floated up off the couch and into her bedroom. She settled softly on the bed, rolling so that she hovered over Alex. "You _are_ beautiful," Kara repeated, kissing Alex before she could deny it again. This kiss lasted longer than their first one, and when Kara pulled away she reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind Alex's ear. "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb," she whispered softly.

Alex smiled at her, then groaned, shoving at a laughing Kara's shoulders until she fell over onto her back. "I cannot believe you just ruined this moment with, with that. You're the worst."

"You love me," Kara said with a blinding smile, reaching out and poking Alex in the side.

"Maybe," Alex hedged, pursing her lips as she squirmed away.

"You looooooove me!" Kara sang as she pulled Alex snugly against her side and laid her head on Alex's shoulder.

"Fine," Alex huffed, rolling her eyes, "I love you."

"Yay!" Kara cheered.

"But Kara, if we're gonna do this, if we're gonna give us a try, I need you to promise me one thing."

"Name it," Kara said eagerly.

Alex, staring deeply into Kara's eyes, reached out her right hand and placed it over Kara's heart. "Never, ever, quote Twilight to me again."


End file.
